The letter we could never find
by Nightfancy
Summary: If you recall there was once a letter. A letter we never got to see. An alternate take on Claire's confession. Spoilers for Game 3. Hershel/Claire. Fluff.


**A/N:** _This didn't turn out exactly the way I wanted (things rarely do ^^), but I do like it anyway. It's kinda comforting that for all his brilliance, sometimes things don't go completely according to plan for the professor either, thus why I kept this as it is. Please enjoy. ;w;_

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><p><em>Dearest Hershel,<em>

_I feel as though I owe you an explanation. I fear I have not been nearly as forthcoming as I had once intended to be. I will rectify that now, and hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me; no doubt these last few weeks have been incredibly confusing for you._

_Hershel…though it wasn't exactly my intention, I fear I have fallen in love with you. Perhaps it's an act of cowardice, admitting it to you this way, but I didn't want to spring it upon you without any warning. I also feel that I will find it easier to cope this way, should you decide your feelings are not in accordance with mine. I was terrified of confessing this to you outright. You've been such a good friend to me and I would find myself devastated to lose a friendship as dear to me as yours._

_Now a choice lies before you, Hershel. Though I've already explained how I would react should I lose you…if you really do think that would be best for the both of us then I will of course respect your decision. I am aware that confessing to you in this way may cause you discomfort in my presence later if you do not feel the same. This is why I decided to write this letter in the first place—so you could have a chance to mull things over. I know how fond you are of thinking things carefully through and I felt as though such a response would have been lost if my confession had been a bit more impromptu. Perhaps I was wrong, but I thought I would grant you the opportunity._

_Whatever you decide…know that I love you very much. _

_Forever and Always,_

_Claire_

.··.·..··.εїз

Her letter sanctioned no reason to delay this conversation so he sought her out the moment classes were through. If her letter was anything to go by she was probably worried sick that they would never speak again. And even if things were any different…Hershel could not deny her that privilege. Even if things were any different, he strongly believed he would still be utterly enchanted by her—and would ache on her behalf that he could not return her affections in that way. She was such a beautiful lady; cultured and refined…and she deserved the best of everything.

It did not take long to find her. Of course, dating for the last six months meant that he was keenly aware of her favorite haunting spots—it was little more than a rudimentary process of elimination. Not at home? In the library. Not there? In the auditorium. Still gone? In the courtyard.

Thus it was the courtyard where he found her. She was sitting on her favored bench, her back to him and for a few moments, Hershel paused to admire her beautiful hair but crossing through the leaf-encrusted ground alerted her to his nearing presence.

She looked up as he approached.

"Hershel…!" she breathed, but even though she appeared calm and happy to see him, Hershel could tell she was incredibly nervous. This vulnerability, rarely shown, took his breath away. He weakly cracked her a smile.

"Claire…" he acknowledged back, his eloquence failing him at perhaps the most important moment of his life. He agonized a little before he decided to sit down next to her.

She looked away. "I had no idea you would come this soon after reading it…" she busied herself with putting her things away. "I really did believe you would take longer to think about it and—"

"Claire," Hershel repeated quietly, placing his hand on top of hers. Her movements instantly stalled. And even though he didn't ask, she looked at him. There were tears in her eyes.

"I _did_ think it over," he said, aching to wipe her tears away but he repressed the urge for now. "Sometimes an answer to a puzzle is lying right there, and no further deliberation is required."

She studied their hands and if he wasn't mistaken, her voice quavered a little. "Well…w-what was the answer then? Whatever you decide, I'll abide by your wishes…no matter how difficult."

"What do _you_ want, Claire?" he asked her gently. "I hardly think the burden of deciding should be restricted to one party, at least not in this instance."

She still wouldn't look at him, but she hung her head and softly confided, "I'm in love with you Hershel. The more I tried to deny it, the more I wanted to be with you. That's all I want. But if you don't feel the same way I can hardly ask you to—" she broke off, sniffing, and Hershel eyed her wipe her tears away with her other hand.

"Oh, please don't cry," he beseeched, but his pleas seemed to set her off and within moments she was sobbing. "Claire…" he said weakly; this admission of his own wasn't going how he planned at all.

"I'm sorry," she finally said at length when her sobs had somewhat subsided. "H-How can I expect us to continue to be friends if I'm…always going to lose control like that?" she plugged her nose and panted in an effort to ward off further tears. The urge to hold her was becoming almost impossible to quell. "You must think I'm…so silly."

"Never," he countered and finally gathered the nerve to coax her into his arms. He could feel her still crying against him but not as desperately as before. He stroked her hair. "Shhh," he soothed. "It was wrong of me to delay. I see that now," he admitted, "but Claire…I…I feel as though I've always—The moment we met, I—" he floundered and cursed his shyness.

To his surprise he heard her snicker. She withdrew from him and held his cheeks in both of her hands. "You can say it," she affirmed, her eyes still sparkling. "It's a little difficult the first time but I know you can do it."

He flushed beneath her touch and began to wonder who was reassuring who. "Your letter was very beautiful," he said easily. "And as I said already, the answer seemed to leap off the page."

Claire let go of his cheeks and wrapped her arms around him once more. "And what did the answer say?"

He returned her embrace and at last said for her ear alone, blushing all the while, "It said…It said I love you too."


End file.
